I now understand.....

that my hard work doesn't mean shit to the powers that be.

that I have a lot of work to do.

that I can still do it, I just need to focus a bit.

that despite anger and frustration clouding my judgment sometimes, I am blessed by your presence.

the meaning of responsibility.

the way I've taken is flawed.

Dammit, Im so fuckin pissed. I hate the fact that I work my ass off like forreal all the time, at the expense of everyone and I end up looking like a total ass, not ever available to anyone and all that hard work goes unappreciated at work, and takes up so much of my time I don't get my other shit done. I probably use it as an excuse too often, saying I don't have time to do anything but then on my days off I don't do shit. Dumb.

I guess I had to get slapped sometime. Im just glad it was the experience and not someone forreal cause I don't take that well. And I don't mean actual slapping cause I dunno how I would take that, but in the metaphoric sense I don't take getting slapped by people well. Call it my defense mechanism if you want, but if you tell me I did something wrong I will probably just make fun of you. Yea real mature i know. I don't think this will help me to be very patient with you so if I am not patient with you, you can blame me just this once, but after today it's always your fault again ;).

Thanks for listening to my bitching. Some of you heard more than others but I dont appreciate those others less, cause they still listened. Thanks.


Surprisingly I dont even feel bad about sounding like a bitch cause I had a shitty day. We all deserve to bitch a bit.

Hope everyone is having a good day today. I really do. I hope everyone is having a great week!!! I should have put this at the beginning, but HAPPY BIRTHDAY ERWIN AND ANGIE!!! Much love my friends, can't believe it's already been like 3 years!! Have a great 22nd/23rd!! And since I won't blog again for a while Ill say happy bday to Kathee and Kaylene also!!! Man o man, I remember 2 years ago like it was 2 years ago! Good restaurant in Fullerton, with lots of good food and Kathee's former favorite Pear Cider. I think she was surprised I offered to buy for her. The only reason I brought that up is cause I always remember that fondly as the first time I felt really cool cause I was invited to a bday occasion. That's all. No reminiscing for me.

Ok well I'm sorry that I started this off pissy, but I'm glad I spoke with people while writing so I could end on a much more positive note. Have a great day people.