Saturday.......

So yea, last night was PraiseFest. That was awesome!!!! I am so glad that everything went as it did. even at the beginning when it seemed to kinda just go pretty slowly and all. Not a big deal at all. Cause God was in charge. We made that clear from the beginning, that whatever happened was cause God had it in His plan. With that in mind it was a lot easier to let things not affect me too much. I was really stressin at the beginning but I realized that it would all work out.

Thanks soooooo much to everyone who came to support us!!!! You guys all rock. I only mentioned a handful of groups in my last blog, but I wanted to make sure everyone knows their support is greatly appreciated. And I don't know how much we made, but it doesn't matter cause all of it is going to a great cause.....Gawad Kalinga baby!! Yea the presentation was awesome. Hope we can make a difference in someone's life over there.

Today has been the most unproductive day of my life. And I don't really feel bad about it. Well maybe a little, but after working on PFest all week it feels so great to just sit down and not do a single thing. If school wasn't in session I would be in heaven. I slept in until about 12 today which is kinda abnormal for me, I generally don't sleep in too late. But it was the best sleep I've had in over 2 weeks since coming back to Irvine. A bunch of YFC peeps went to Long Beach this morning at 9am!!!! I don't know how they did it. No one got to bed before 3am Im sure....at least I didnt. And as sad as I am that no one is here in Irvine to chill with, I don't think I would have gone to the day of recollection with them even if they'd gone later in the day. I am so spiritually tired right now......don't misinterpret that, I am on a mountaintop right now, especially just after 2 spirit rallies in 1 week, but it takes its toll on me and I just need to relax and chill on my own. I hope God isn't offended haha.
So I did the napoleon dynamite dance last night.....yea that was my "surprise" that I was telling people about. There's actually a great story about it. I was actually not going to do it originally, we were running low on time and people were saying it was gonna get cut. At first I have to say I was a little disappointed, but I realized the dance wasn't really any important part of Pfest and it was God's way of humbling me. I told them it was cool, and I felt really good that God gave me the grace to accept that. I was honestly not even tripping out about it. Then Toni runs up to me and says....."We can do it, only if you can get ready by the time the slideshow is over" I was freaking out cause I didnt know how long the show was but I knew it wasn't much longer......and I hadn't been expecting this at all. So I ran and got changed and literally like 2 minutes later I was doing the dance. I messed it up pretty bad, but I don't even care.....it was the most blatant form of deja vu ever cause our mini skit had been about a girl who had wanted something really badly, then lost it, then been given even more than what she had wanted. I dont know if that makes sense, but I see the connection. Whatever the case may be, I made a fool out of myself yet again, and will forever be remembered as "one of those 3 white guys in the crowd, the one who danced" but all Glory to God for giving me such a great lesson in humility.

What was my favorite part of praisefest? Well I think that's an easy answer......Praise and Worship baby!!!!!!!! I loved the songs we did....seriously every single one of them. I know I complained about "Lord Jesus We Enthrone You" cause it was hard for me to learn, but it was awesome also. The entire time I was thinking how cool singing is!! I love it!! and I think people who suck at it like myself enjoy it more than people who are good, that's why it's painful to watch american idol. That and the people who suck think they are God's gift to earth, which they are, being a child of God and all, but they stretch it a little. Those people make me embarrassed. and I dont get embarrassed easily.

Anyway I hope everyone had as good a time as I did, and I hope God touched you like He touched me!!! Take care everyone

PRAISEFEST ROCKED!!!!!

Hey guys, this is gonna be short, but I wanted to say how much praisefest rocked!! I was really worried at the beginning, but everyone was praying so hard I knew that's what made it work out. Our beautiful struggles are made easier through Him who strengthens us. Yea I know that's not the real quote, but it works. Thanks to everyone who supported YFC, especially (in no particular order) YFC SDSU, YFC UCRiverside, Couples For Christ, and of course UCI's very own Liwanag!! All of you guys rocked, and we couldn't have done this thang without your support. But what's awesome is all of what you did is just added glory to God, because that's why we do it!!!! Peace out everybody and I will see you all tmr or sunday, well rested for the first time since the qtr started!!!

PRAISE GOD!!!!

"I'm going to kill you"

JUST KIDDING!

Good ol' Kerpal, he had some wonderful things to say.
Anyway....so my day was ok. I had to wake up kinda early to help make some posters for UCC events and stuff. It wasn't too bad but waking up earlier than you want to always sucks. After meeting Mike and Marites in the new poster painting room and finishing the posters, I saw something that kinda pissed me off. Yea, that's right, the prices of stuff at the cornerstone cafe. I didn't even realize until the girl took my money that I had spent 5 bux on a sobe and a croissant. wth is that about?? That makes me mad. Mad enough to kick a dog at least, maybe even 2. I walked out of that store thinking "can you imagine a grown man paying 5 dollars for a drink and a fluffy french pastry?" Kicking a dog is a helluva drug. But once you do it once it kind of loses its luster. I am in no way promoting animal cruelty, but sometimes, like your kids, the dogs need a little lesson in who owns who. and who feeds who. and who picks up who's crap. wait scratch that one. Anyway it was frustrating, let's leave it at that. Almost as frustrating as my first class.
My class is a dramatic literature class taught by a fallen Catholic who, try as he might, inevitably gets around to how the church has weird beliefs and they're wrong. While I believe he's entitled to his opinion, so are matricidal maniacs in some ways. So he is pretty far out there. I had to defend the church's stance on certain issues at least 3 times, and I wasn't even trying to pick any kind of fight, which if push had come to shove, I would have licked him. Like a dog. kicked him I mean. (why are "k" and "l" so close to one another? that could lead to some serious problems).
Nonetheless, I really like the class for this reason. We don't just sit to a guy and hear him talk about some people who wrote these plays we're reading and how they were experimental for their time, but we discuss notions of changing beliefs and that's fascinating to me.
After going to class I had to go to the scheduling and conference office to reserve the Engineering Gateway Plaza for Mass on the Plaza for next year. That was exciting. well ok not really, but the office was comfortable. I got to hear all of the scheduling people bitch about how the frats abuse their right to amplified sound. The guy who approves all of those requests was saying he couldn't let his personal feelings about the sexism and racism that exist in the music they play to affect his judgment of whether or not they get to blare their stereos. I kinda wanted to say, "hell yea you can!!" Cause I know that if I was in his position, I wouldn't let anyone play any music but the music that I like to hear, so walking around ring road would be like walking with your favorite radio station playing in your ears without the need for any headphones. Thats awesome.
That's kinda like if a baby is squeeling and you're offended by the sound they make, you should be able to do something about it. I like the Bible passage "spare the rod spoil the child"......well ok that was some extreme protestant saying in Puritan America but I still like it cause if there were a baby somewhere makin an offensive sound, you should be able to use the rod on them. Or your hand or whatever is closest. Again, don't misinterpret my meaning as one of an abusive parent, but rather as a lovingly instructive mentor. I wouldn't ever slap a baby, you all know that. But knowing that you have the option should the need arise is a great feeling. OK I think I crossed the line a little. forget the baby analogy, but don't forget the one about the dog. ok there was no analogy with a dog, but don't forget to kick 'em every now and then to let 'em know how much you love them. "yes, you're a good dog aren't you Spot? yes you are! yes you are! *pow* make sure you don't forget you're a good dog spot!"

I think it's time to depart from my sadistic side for now and just make some comments about upcoming events. TOMORROW IS PRAISEFEST!!! yea after all our hard work, YFC is proud to present "Praisefest 2005: Beautiful Struggle" It's gonna be awesome. There will be some cool commercials, skits (both funny and dramatic), awesome praise and worship, plus a special guest appearance which I won't give away! (Ok I'm lying about a guest appearance, but there is a surprise that'll be cool) plus don't forget that it is first and foremost a time to praise God and all his wonderful works. Amen? Amen! (Leo hands). So come on out and support us, we really want all of you to come, and don't forget that all the money we raise is going to Gawad Kalinga, the homeless outreach program in the Phillipines started by CFC. Hope to see you all there!!!!

I leave you all now with some awesome lyrics to a song that speaks about a beautiful struggle and the strength it takes to sacrifice:

A shapeless piece of steel, that's all I claim to be
This hammer pounds to give me form, this flame, it melts my dreams
I glow with fire and fury, as I'm twisted like a vine
My final shape, my final form I'm sure I'm bound to find

So dream a little, dream for me in hopes that I'll remain
And cry a little, cry for me so I can bear the flames
And hurt a little, hurt for me my future is untold
But my dreams are not the issue here, for they, the hammer holds

And the water, it cools me gray, and the hurt's subdued somehow
I have my shape, this sharpened point, what is my purpose now?
And the question still remains, what am I to be?
Perhaps some perfect piece of art displayed for all to see

So dream a little, dream for me in hopes that I'll remain
And cry a little, cry for me so I can bear the flames
And hurt a little, hurt for me my future is untold
But my dreams are not the issue here, for they, the hammer holds

The hammer pounds again, but flames I do not feel
This force that drives me, helplessly, through flesh, and wood reveals
A burn that burns much deeper, it's more than I can stand
The reason for my life was to take the life of a guiltless man

So dream a little, dream for me in hopes that I'll remain
And cry a little, cry for me so I can bear the pain
And hurt a little, hurt for me, my future is so bold
But my dreams are not the issue here, for they, the hammer holds

This task before me may seem unclear
But it, my maker holds

Pray, pray.....and then pray again.

So yea, GP I don't want you to die.....quite the opposite actually. I like you alive. I like all of my friends alive. That's why that dream was so disturbing. For those who don't know, I had a dream last night in which a bus I was watching from the road, ran head-on into one of those big-rigs that carry huge logs....no if you don't know what they look like, that's cause you're from the city. Anyway, this big truck hits a bus and so I ran over to see if everything was alright, and I see LOGers gathering after crawling out of the overturned bus. They all have their heads down and I can't see any faces, just the maroon shirts, and I ask if everyone is ok.....they started to say names of LOGers......unfortunately the names either were cloudy when I heard them, or I just lost them when I woke up. But in all over 12 people died in that bus. It was disturbing. All I remember from the rest of that dream is sitting on the curb curled into a little ball, bawling my eyes out. And when I woke up, I was almost crying just because the emotion of the dream carried over so strongly. Weird.
I tend to shy from analyzing dreams, cause I don't think they are omens or anything.....but I do think they are just our subconscious at work sometimes...like this time. For me this came right after saying how much I appreciate everyone from Liwanag in the previous post yesterday. Also, in the dream I was immediately drained; physically, emotionally, and spiritually. This is how I have felt for the past 2 weeks. I don't know exactly why, but I have very little power to do anything anymore......granted this is coming from me at 1 am blogging when I should be sleeping, but still...
I'm not saying any of this for sympathy, sorry if it came off that way, but I really do need prayers right now, and what better way to get them than to announce it in your blog?? I am just tired from school and activities, and I'm finding less of my time is dedicated to God than should be, especially while working on an event like PraiseFest!! (OK I NEED TO PLUG PRAISEFEST REAL QUICK: YFC PRAISEFEST, APRIL 15TH 7PM IN SSLH) yea so just pray for me if you can.....I know He will strengthen me. Peace out homies, and thanks in advance for the prayers.

And so that I might say it again......I appreciate everyone God has given me in my life so much....you are all wonderful mirrors of His Love and I see that every day.

"I got my defenses when it comes to your intentions for me..."

Goo Goo Dolls- Here is Gone

This song has been stuck in my head for a long time now .it might not be helping that I have it on repeat on iTunes right now. But I must say it's great. Yea that's all about that.

Yesterday was the SOL Spirit Rally with Liwanag and some other peeps from UCI and SDSU. It was purdy good I must say. The death of the Pope so recently brought a certain amopunt of solidarity to the event that might not have been there without it (I say "might" cause I'd never been to one of SOL's rallies before yesterday, so I dont know if the unity was more than other yrs). But they made a vid of the Pope that was amazing. It had all kinds of news footage from the entire course of his papacy. The most impressive part of it was the fact that they compiled it in 1 week! It looked pretty pro and they had literally 6 days to do all of it. tightness. But there were good talks, good spirit, good food, and all this added up to a good time. The Lord was definitely at work there.
I kinda had a funny thing happen tho. At the end of the Spirit Rally they invited everyone who was considering a religious life to come to the front and adore the Blessed Sacrament. So I went. That isn't the funny part, be patient. Afterwards I was chillin and Gerard came up to me and said, "I didn't know you were discerning". It made me think. I've always thought I would have a family, you know pursue the marriage thing, I just go up cause I need to keep an open mind. Joyce asked me the same thing on the way home and it was then that I realized I hadn't known how many people watched those of us going up. It isn't really haha funny just odd, cause I always knew I was going up to pray for the grace to discern, but I hadn't realized people saw me go and thought "Oh shoot, he's gonna be a priest". Not saying Gerard thought I was going to be a priest for sure, I just never thought so many people paid close attention.
Afterwards we ate at Banana Bay which was good. I ate soooo much. After my first plate of chicken I ordered some pad thai that I shared with Brenton. Man that was good esp cause I was stuffed to the gills after I finished it. And the eggs in it were damn good Man once it touches your lips it's just soo good.

So I'm tired of writing about stuff you guys prolly don't care about.....ie my life. So I'm gonna comment on things you guys like to hear about....ie you guys. Kinda like shout-outs, but they won't always be nice, cause Im not always nice. Just kidding....I just wanted to say 'ello to all the LOG peeps I hung wit yesterday and others (YFCers you thought Id forget?) anyway here goes......(btw if I forget about you, just make a scathing comment about how much I suck and I will edit you in)

Leo- do you love EVERYBODY? I would have been much more angry with those people on the freeway yesterday. Anyway, good job wit organizing stuff yesterday.

Biencess- En Garde!! hahaha gooooood times

Jonas- yea don't think I didn't see you practicing "Voice of One Calling In the Desert" yesterday in the car.......wait we all were nm.

Dave- I AM a loser. what can I say??

Wolfe- does your head hurt bro????? Man that water jug could not have been good for the ol' neurons.

GP- *waves to me Napoleon Dynamite style*

Mel- Don't ever try to molest me again. oh by the way, pass it on.

Derrick- Your heaving was very disturbing and all I can say is I'm scarred for life.

Joyce- I'm totally over this whole Jesus thing......JUST KIDDING!!!! INSIDE JOKE EVERYONE!! DON'T BELIEVE THAT, JUST ASK ME OR JOYCE FOR AN EXPLANATION!!

Erwin- You sure you don't want the Bubblicious? Last time I'm asking you! Ok you can stop that weird dance now.

Frances-....yea I got nothing. Hahahaha jk, good times yesterday!! Esp when you spilled water on urself and tried to hide it!

Rica- hoods are for cheaters

Jerome- Your laugh is infectious man....hahahahah see???

Brenton- You the man. Ok I said it, you can stop bragging about the damn Clippers now. And whatever you're watching, it's impure.

Robert- Slide phones are coooooool. haha

Eileen- Is that even a PHONE anymore????

Flo- you veggetarians are such a nuisance...I still think that's why we didn't win the spirit award. Minus points for teamwork for making them accomodate. HAHAHAHAHAHA jk!!!

Dee- I heard you go "aawwwww man!!!" from over where I was sitting. Yea we should have won. Praise God for all the spirit everyone had tho.

Kirssssten- Did you hang up on me??? I just thought of another use for that thing.....use it as your Mario Party club, that way you dont hurt your hand hitting everyone.

Angie- I will never look at a leg of meat the same again (what kind WAS that??). Gangsta playin yesterday as usual.

Cristina- so yea we didn't hang much yesterday, sorry. But it was cool to see you!!!

Cressa- Why didn't we hang at all yesterday?? Sorry that was my bad....I was tryin real hard to be cool for the camera. Without much success I might add.

Rona- My lil G. You are one of the more gangsta members of the LOG. Hahaha I dont's know why I said that but it's makin me laugh so I'll keep it. Haha I wrote "dont's", Ill keep that too.

Janice- Rock that mic, girl.

Jason- Didn't get to chill much yesterday either, but props for comin out after work and all. Man I was tired just after goin, I can't even imagine going AFTER work.

Mattman- Man, you know people everywhere!!! hahaha I saw you talkin to babes like 5 minutes after we got there. or maybe that's just cause you're irresistably cute. Ok, awkward.....

Randell- Way to represent CFC SoCal!!! you NorCal-er, you!!!!! hahaha

Eliza- man, SOL SD is off the hook! oh wait you're not in that, nm. Haha jk, it was cool seeing you!

Jill- Goooood times! especially boom-chicka-boomboom(dancing game) in front of BBay. Wow, your leg moves as if independent of your body! Eeewwwwww.......I mean COOL!!!

Wow that took a long time.....you all better be grateful. And those who aren't on the list better be grateful also cause I couldn't remember anything good to say to you so you got away from some scathing sarcasm. HAHAHAHA JUST KIDDING I LOVE ALL YOU GUYS!! And I'm really sorry if I forgot to put you on the list.....there are so many people!!! Anyway have a nice night and good luck this second week of school. I leave you now with the lyrics of another song stuck in my head.....Dave Matthews' #41 (yea that's the title):

I'm coming, waltzing back
and moving, pushing into your head... please
I wouldn't pass you by
Oh and I wouldn't take any more
and what sort of man goes by?
I will bring you water
Why won't you ever be glad?
It melts into wonder
But know that I'm praying for you
Why won't you run
into the rain and play
and let the tears splash all over you.

Yea I don't know why that song, but it's freakin awesome, especially the Live at Luther College version. So yea, peace out kiddos and see you when I see you.