Sick's Facts

1. The first girl I liked was 13 when I was 10 and she was a chola.
This is on the real. She was straight up, full blown, no ifs ands or buts, a chola. I don't even remember her name but let's call her Maria. Maria was my family friends' niece. She came up to our place outside of Fresno to visit for a bit and I was completely enamored. I don't think I wanted to make out with her or anything, I think I just wanted her to pay attention to me. I copied her every move. I hung out with her during the 4 days she was there and tried to be super funny as much as I could. I was never the kind of person to be mean to the girl that I liked, I never understood that so people didn't even notice that I was attached at the hip for those few days. I even tried to copy that crazy 8 signs of the cross thing that Mexicans do when a single regular one will suffice. I thought her pocketless jeans were cool and her permanently wet-looking crimped hair was the shit. Yeah that was funny.

2. My breakout moment in high school was when I ran for ASB against 2 cheerleaders...and WON.
I wasn't really popular in High School. Not in a sad way, more in a way like I didn't seek popularity outside of the few clubs I was in. So when I ran for ASB people were confused. I got ushered into the Secretary spot in High School because when asked questions like "What will you do for the school as secretary?" my answer did not include anything about how cheerleading helped me become a better note-taker. Not to say cheerleaders are dumb, cause I met one once who wasn't, but these 2 made me look like a Rhodes Scholar. I wish we had been able to share the office however because they were both considered to be 2 of the hottest girls in our school, but it wasn't all bad because THE hottest one was the Vice President so it worked out.

3. Upon telling my Science teacher and good family friend that I was going to UCI, his response was "But you're not Asian".
Mr Durando is one of the funniest teachers I have ever had and he has always been the most honest person I've taken a class with and when he said this to me there was a slight smile in his eye that reminded me of the guy who works a mechanical bull when a fat chick gets on and thinks "they're gonna eat SHIT!" Yeah it was that look. But to be fair the first 2 people I met in Irvine were white (one was half) but they were both high so I don't know that it was necessarily proving anyone wrong. When I saw Mr Durando a few years later I mentioned how I was still at UCI and his response was "But you're not Asian".

4. I once got in trouble with a teacher who heard me call my really good Native American friend a "dirty savage".
Unfortunately my comment was a response to him calling me a "white devil", which no one heard him say. Such is life.

5. I convinced my OLDER brother that a little puddle in the middle of the summer was from a spring I had found and NOT from me peeing in a hole.
He stuck his finger in, smelled it and then ran to my mom. I remember distinctly thinking "he's my older brother he should just punch me or something....what a baby". See? Even in my childhood I was inappropriate, uncouth, and an utter badass. I got spanked for it.

6. When I was 6, my family (8 children at that point) went on a 6 week, multi-state road trip in my parents' 12 passenger van.
I cannot say I remember every little detail but I do remember a few things distinctly:
- Watching Jaws at a distant cousin's house and being scared and then getting my brothers in trouble because I wasn't supposed to be awake anyways.
- Riding in the front seat of the Van during a lightning storm in Montana. It is burned into my memory as one of the most frightening and beautiful things in my life.
- Seeing fireflies for the first time in a forest in Minnesota (I think). Again one of the better memories of my childhood.
- That same night we were camping and ate macaroni and cheese and all of us were awakened by 2 raccoons fighting over the trash that had scraps in it. My brothers started making bets on who would win.
- Standing in the rain at Mount Rushmore and making fun of the runny noses the presidents had. And then going back into the lodge for hot cocoa.


I started this trying to think of the funniest things in my life but that last one might be the best for me that not everyone knows. Hope it was worth the read!

Tag:

brent (cause he hasnt done it)
anna (same)
wing
derrick