So I'm in the library now, and I should be working on my lighting project as well as my paper and my machinima thingy. But I'm blogging because I have more interest in this right now.

You ever wonder where those survey things come from and who writes them? I do. I mean most of them are lame, and have the same questions, but someone has to write them, and that means someone also writes the really good ones. I wish I could think of a good survey. As a matter of fact I'm going to write one right now. Not a super long one, but maybe just a dumb one cause I feel like doing it and Ill see how far it gets.

Here goes.


How often do you:

Talk to people in person: at least every few hours
Talk on the phone: 3 times a day minimum
On AIM: "ALL DAY!"
Talk ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE when you are doing any of the above:.......

Yea so that was a dumb way of me saying I need to stop talking about people so much. I feel like every time I THINK, it is about how someone else bothers me or how they can change themselves to fit into what I consider "normal" behavior. And like one of my previous survey thingies revealed, my big mouth gets me in trouble a lot. I feel really bad that I am able to hide my feelings so well about certain people. When they really drive me crazy, and I want to punch them in the face sometimes, I pretend like nothings wrong. I know I'm not alone in this, but I feel like I spend an inordinate amount of time dwelling on the splinters in other people's eyes, while the beam in mine goes unattended.

I think I also crave normalcy, so when people don't act normal around me I get angry with them, but then I pretend everything is normal because I would rather things appear normal than for me to vent my feelings. Someone called me heartless the other day. I think cause I told them I don't cry much. But the more I think about it, the more I think it applies to my treatment of others. I don't think Im a heartless person, I just think my treatment of them is heartless sometimes. Why can't I bust a Jesus and just love everyone? I dunno.

ANYWAY....on a more positive note, I had a good time last night. After work Katrina came and picked me up and we rolled over to South Coast to do some window copping. I was sad cause I was rejected twice by things that were on the sale racks but werent really on sale. I hate when that happens, but I guess its for the better. I didnt spend too much $$ that way. I was also proud of myself for not buying any shoes hahahaa. I know thats lame but it's kinda true. After finishing up in South Coast I called up bre'n asking him what time the closet closes and while he was on the phone he got scared by gp and then gp scared adrian. There was lots of laughs over there. But then we went to The Closet and I bought a stussy t-shirt for like 15 bux. Not bad. Katrina was drooling over True Religion jeans that cost 300 and I almost choked. Who pays rent for a pair of jeans???? Anyway, after that she took me home and I got ready for the party at Mike and Randell's. Happy Bday Mike!
That was kinda fun, until the end and In n Out madness, but whatever. I then went and hung out with the 442, meechy nimz and dean. Good times in there also, but in all honesty I was so sleepy for most of it I didn't catch everything. So some of the secrets are safe with you guys, some of them I know. Now you just have to guess which is which!! MUAHAHAHAHA.

I just saw Jill's post about not knowing about the future, as well as GP's comment, and I think Im in the same boat so you guys should scoot over cause Im sittin my ass in the "where am I going" portion of the population. I don't know if I want to teach, act or write or what. I don't know if I want to go back to school right after college, or start working right away. I am scared. I am praying on a daily basis about it, but I am also avoiding thinking about it because it scares me.

I think the only thing I am absolutely sure of is that I want to stay in socal. I don't know for how long, but I know that I am especially scared of the fact that most people don't stay in contact with those they went to college with, and I dont want that to be me. I am clinging to all of you guys. I hope this doesnt inhibit my ambitions and not allow me to grow, but I would rather grow through Christ in the same community, than to grow in my profession anywhere else. But we shall see. One step at a time. In Him I am stronger than ever by myself, and I need to trust that I will never lose my brothers and sisters in Christ, no matter what the distance.

This isnt meant to be a sad post! I am sorry I am being so sad. I'm going to end it with something I havent done in a while that is always a happy part of my posts, shoutouts!!! I know this post is obscenely long as it is, but hey people only read their own shoutout anyway right? hahaha here goes:

Meechy: oh who would have known??? hahaha man o man. I love the fact that you live so close, otherwise things like "the night" would not have happened and neither would last night! Have a good one in the 442!

Dinboy: It's always cool to see new people come out to LOG and stick around, and you're no exception. I hope to see you all the time to the point that I dont want to see you at all, that way I know you're still coming to LOG.

Nimz: you ever heard the term, curiousity killed the cat? Yea you're a cat my friend and you will die soon if you arent careful. Man, do you have to ask soooo many questions??? and do you HAVE to interrupt to ask them?? Im kinda kidding. I love you, but I just laugh when you say the things you do...like you said, you cant win.

Mel: What have I ever done to derserve your rapes????? Ugh, I don't know if it turns me on anymore cause you're so rough.

GP: JCVD is back in action through you and your ugly dancing hahaha. Good one. Do you ever wish you could just get the training of a Navy SEAL and then chill in a normal job? be a badass at some dumb job. I dunno I think that would be cool, especially for you since you are kinda too lazy to have a serious job like infiltrating North Korea.

Erwin: Monday will be memorable....one month for you-know-who =D. Go St Gabriel family!! Body rolls forever.

Brenton: "Did you ever know that you're my hero?" You're not everything I'd like to be, but thats ok. None of us are perfect. Hope the one-month hiatus hasnt made your feet blue.....if you don't get that joke Im proud of you cause it means you're more innocent than me.

Kirsten: No I cant talk loud in the library. "Uhhh, ok bye" hahaha. Is the plan still in effect for saturday? if you dont get that joke I am NOT proud of you because it means you are more innocent than me.

Mike Wu: happy bday bro and good times hanging out last night.

Thats all I have energy and time for now. I would apoligize for the longest post in life, but I don't really feel sorry so Im not gonna say sorry for something Im not sorry for. The honesty starts now! Have a good saturday night everyone!!!!

Joey Irish Crack